I've never made this kind of post before but I just needed to put this out there and GRIEVE.
I am writing this while tears stream down my face, 14 hours after I heard the news of her death. It doesn't seem real. I can imagine her bright and cheery, singing her heart out.
It's hard to deal with this and I'm surprised by how torn and heartbroken I am. I've never lost a family member or close relative (let's pray it stays that way) and I have had a distant acquaintance pass away but I've never felt any grief close to how I feel today. I am learning for the first time how to deal with grief.
I managed to go out and meet friends and have a general good time. But in the back of my mind, I can only think of Christina and her senseless death. She did absolutely nothing to deserve it; she is so talented, pure-hearted, sincere, sweet, passionate, & hardworking. These qualities make it harder for me to process and handle her death. I deeply regret not attending any nearby concerts if she had them nearby; I am grateful I followed her music and her different endeavors like the Voice.
I feel regret that I didn't pay more attention to her stuff over the recent years. I imagine everyone feels this when mourning a loved one: missed time.
What makes this hard is that her YouTube channel is always there, full of videos of her distinct, bright voice and her energetic personality- the videos make her seem full of life.
Although I'm not religious, I know she was & I do hope that she is flourishing in heaven with her God. I know she is one of the few who are strong enough.
Much, much love to one of my all-time idols,
xx Jennifer
P.S. I recommend listening to Sam Tsui's rendition to Just a Dream, his tribute to Christina. It accurately describes how we all feel.
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